in my greatest effort, i cannot for the life of me, remember my birth. my mother told me i was so big commin out they thought they was gunna have to cut her open...! i could not believe my ears when she told me such a thing as that. cut my mother open on behalf of me? before they even knew whether or not they was gunna like me? mother said they was just about to when my big toe popped out, and then the rest of me. well, i knew i had always loved my big toe best for a reason, only now i knew what they reason was. saved my mother from gettin cut open. which is why i always thought if i concentrated real hard, i could remember.

there was one time i thought maybe i came close to rememberin. but i havent really told no one yet cuz ive been holdin on to it with my life, afraid to let it get lost or whatever. so im gunna tell you now, cuz well its been so long and i feel aint nothin gunna change for lettin it out. so here it is then.

i was just fallin asleep and i felt a sort of twisted contortion come over my body. my first thought was birth canal. then i felt my toes tingle, and the pressure release from my feet, then move slowly up the rest 'a me. and then, in one quick burst, i felt big, real big. now, take from it what you will, but in the next moment i was flyin. i was on the back of a big bird with red feathers and eyes the color of the ocean thru sunlight. hazel blue. it took me up so high that all the houses on my street became dots. and the trees lining the walkways were fuzz balls, and they was faden fast. then we was soaring through the clouds and, i remember the sunbeams ticklin my sides. and then the colors came. started swimmin right along side us, bending with the sunbeams, castin golden rainbows through the clouds. the red and yellow were wrappin round my shoulders like they was the softest touch ever come my way. and they was. i was turnin circles upon circles, we was weaving and wavin, twirlin and whirlin like we was all just dancin together. golden shimmers were slippin through my fingers, violet pearls were bouncin round my elbows, my knees had the sensation of touquise all tucked up from behind. and light blue was braidin' through my hair, which i loved most of all. i never once felt dizzy or afraid. never felt alone or scared to be so high. truth is i never wanted nothin to change. felt like my home up there in the clouds with all those colors makin me feel beautiful, and everything outlined in gold. and i never once thought of pa, or sis, or mother. not once of louie, or even aunt verna. in fact, i thought of nothin but lettin my own self be carried away forever.

well that red bird must have known my family would worry cuz it took me right back to my bed, tucked me in real good. i woke up all nuzzled in its feathers, which soon came to be my pillow, i figure on account of sis in the bunk bellow. pretty sure he didnt wanna make her jealous or nothin.

that was when i was just past the 8 year mark of my life. dont tell no one but, sometimes i try to stay up a little extra longer than im s'pose to, just lookin out my window and wishin he'd come back. anyway, thats the closest i got to my birth, i reckon.