life in the woods.

you know you are in the middle of nowhere, without a car that works, when:

1. you have to take a shower every time you shit because you ran out of toilet paper.

2. you eat less because you don't want to shower as much.

3. you feel bad eating a carrot that has become your friend.

4. you go through a grieving process for the pages of an old journal you ripped out to use as fire starter.

5. the gnomes begin to pile dishes in your sink.

6. you are excited when you stay up past 8:30.

7. you talk to everything that moves, including saying good morning to your pee as it falls, and goodbye as it twirls away days later.

8. you wonder why your house smells strange, and then flush for the first time in days.

9. you’ve cleaned your house, eaten two meals, had two cups of coffee, done yoga, written in your journal, made two calls, written three e-mails, took a walk, took a shower, attempted to build a fire, sat in silence, and its only 7am.

10. you literally spend hours continuing to think about which came first, the chicken or the egg, and you decide for the 4th significant time in your life, they came together.

11. you finally, after 11 years, strum a different sequence of chords on the guitar.

12. things like deodorant and clean clothes simply aren't important.

13. that being said, a fresh batch of laundry is almost as good as christmas morning.

14. that being said, you long for the coming christmas with your family.

15. you drank the last of your wine a week ago, and you find a can of MGD in the corner of your cabin, and drink it luke cold on the spot.

16. you sit amidst the falling leaves and think to yourself, "yeah, life is not half bad."

17. the stillness around you comes to nest inside your head, and you feel free.